グリム童話！

 4:16～10:00あたりが童話です

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welcome to the effortless English show
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teacher AJ Hoge where AJ's more than 40
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club dot-com live on Facebook I had a
02:19
couple day break I had a few things I
02:21
had to do for my babies but I'm happy to
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be back today we're going to do another
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story from ace up another one of Aesop's
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fables if you're watching on video I'll
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show the cover of my book
02:37
Aesop's fables his name a
02:45
I'll do the second one in my book today
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so again nice very short little stories
02:52
very very short like one paragraph
02:53
stories which is perfect and they
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usually have some nice vocabulary in
02:59
there and also an interesting message so
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it's really perfect I'll take a just a
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quick hello to those of you who are live
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on Facebook one second
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all right there's lots of people saying
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hello from lots of places Korea Moscow
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hey Brazil India Iraq Kurdistan New York
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City
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also Brazil Algeria Nepal Ukraine
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going
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Egypt hey Taha so anyway Ibrahim good to
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see you - I'm good good to see lots of
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you as usual tell you what let's just
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get started and then I'll come back and
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do comments and questions after all
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right I'm gonna read this so as usual I
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will read it first then come back and I
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will explain the vocabulary and then
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come back again and discuss and then
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finally hey Lisa
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then back to the comments and questions
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here we go number two friend or foe is
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the name of it a fox slipped when
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climbing a fence to save himself from
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falling he clutched at a briar bush the
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thorns made his paws bleed and in his
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pain he cried out oh dear I turned to
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you for help and you have made me worse
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off than I was before and in the Briar
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spoke the plants can speak to in this
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story
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yes my friend said the Brier you made a
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bad mistake when you tried to lay hold
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of me I lay hold of everyone myself
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that's the end of the story very short
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let's go back to the beginning and we'll
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learn the vocab vocabulary okay title is
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friend or foe a fo fo e is an enemy so
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it means friend or enemy okay a fox is
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an animal slipped the slip means to fall
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in when climbing a fence like a wall
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like claim so this fox is trying to
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climb over a fence a wall and when he's
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climbing he slips maybe it's wet or
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something and he starts to fall so
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there's a briar bush what's a briar bush
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a briar means like a thorn right it's
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you know these plants that have thorns a
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thorn is like a sharp light right it
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looks like a like a nail all right it's
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very painful if you grab it all right
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like a big sharp thorn or nail we have
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many words in English for this kind of
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thing but basically this is long and
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pointy and painful right like roses for
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example right rose bushes have thorns
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right there very painful if you grab a
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rosebush pain so a briar bush is just
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really any kind of bush that has this
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same idea these same thorns that are
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painful so he's following the Fox he's
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climbing and then he's falling he sees
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this bush he tries to grab it right to
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stop from falling he wants to stop
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himself so he grabs for this bush but
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the thorns made his paws bleed a paw is
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like a hand for an animal right dogs
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cats foxes they have paws not hands and
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feet right they've got the little soft
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things on the bottom P aw paw
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so of course right he's falling any
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grabs but it's very sharp there's a
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thorn like a rosebush and ah now it
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hurts his hand right his hand is
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bleeding
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because he grabbed it and when he grabs
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that he kind of he cries out meaning he
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shouts he says oh dear I turned to you
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for help now he's talking to the bush
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he's talking to the bush he said I was
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looking for you to help me but instead
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you hurt me right I was looking for help
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from you and you made me worse than I
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was before right he fell and he hurt his
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hand now his paw and in the bush talks
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back to him the Briar Bush talks back
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and says yes you made a bad mistake when
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you tried to grab me I made a bad
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mistake because you tried to grab me but
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I always grab everybody else and that's
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the end of the story so some of our
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vocabulary words foe means enemy a thorn
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is like that sharp thing ah I got a
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rosebush right the sharp part of a plant
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it'll cut you thorn
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Briar Bush is that kind of a bush and
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really that's about it pretty simple
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Oh in the beginning he says he tried to
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clutch a briar bush to clutch that word
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means to grab and to hold to clutch if
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you're watching on video I'm showing you
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now this is this is too clutch you grab
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something and hold it with your hand the
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verb is clutch to clutch it's very
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similar to grab but it has the idea of
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grabbing and holding on clutch so the
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important part of the word clutch is
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that and what and how clutch is
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different than grab is that clutch has
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the idea of that you're holding on
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you're grabbing but you're continue to
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hold on you're clutching
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all right so that's the vocabulary what
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does this story mean because there's
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always a message each of these remember
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these fables have each of Aesop's fables
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have some message maybe more than one
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message this is in fact the message of
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this story is very similar to the
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probably the more famous story about the
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frog and the Scorpion maybe you know
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that one right the frog and the Scorpion
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wants to go across a river I mean it's
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it's the same message and the message is
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this is that you bet people human nature
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people follow their own nature people
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follow their nature this is very Taoist
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in fact right so each of us has our own
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nature our own character our own virtue
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or lack of virtue right our own habits
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and we follow that we always follow that
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right things follow their nature and it
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is very foolish to go against that to
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try to go against that and it's very
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foolish to expect to think that someone
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else will change their nature that's the
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message why is that the message well you
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think about it so the Fox is climbing
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and he's falling and he grabs for a
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thorn bush but it's foolish why because
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thorn bush is what what is their nature
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their nature they have thorns the nature
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is they will hurt you and that's what
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the bright the bush says to him at the
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end of the story the bush says you were
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foolish to grab me right you're foolish
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to thinking I will help you because my
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nature is I have thorns my nature is I
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you know I I I hurt people right with my
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thorns my nature is not to help people
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so you were foolish too
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expect you were foolish to think that I
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would help you you were foolish to try
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to get my help and if you know the frog
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and the scorpion story it's the same
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basic message scorpion attacks the frog
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at the end and he says this in the Frog
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is like why did you attack me and he
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says the same thing well it's my nature
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it's my nature it's Who I am so how is
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this you know these stories are course
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they're not really about animals or
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plants that are about people so what is
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he saying he's saying that whenever in
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life do not expect help from people who
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have a bad nature who are not virtuous
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that in other words you have to look at
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people's nature because that's how they
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will behave it doesn't matter how they
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talk it doesn't matter the situation if
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someone's bad they're bad and if you
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expect them to help you if they have a
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bad nature right there you can't trust
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them they always cheat everybody and
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then you need help and uuk you go and
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you try to get help from them they're
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not going to help you they're going to
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cheat you because that's what cheating
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people do right if someone's not honest
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and you go to them for help and advice
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they're going to lie to you because
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that's what dishonest people do so
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that's the message is that you must look
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at people's nature you must look deeper
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at the nature of the person not just the
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surface not just the words also another
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meaning of this is that you must
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especially be careful when you need help
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right when you have a bad situation
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right the Fox was falling he needed help
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and he immediately tried to grab the
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thorn bush right he didn't think he
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didn't think about the nature of the
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thorn bush that it was actually going to
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hurt him even more so he's and of course
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this is very true in life that
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when we have a hard time when we're
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falling right when we're failing when
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we're having a painful time in life we
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must be extra careful about other people
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because bad people will use that to hurt
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us right when we're weak that's when bad
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people tried to hurt us or cheat us or
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do something bad to us it's not when
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you're strong and everything's great
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no it's when you're weak it's when you
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need help that it's easy for a bad
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person to hurt you so when you need help
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when you are weak when you are having a
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hard time a heart big problem you must
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be extra careful about who do you ask
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for help right because if you ask the
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wrong person they're going to hurt you
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even more another message of this story
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so it's it's not saying never trust
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anyone that's not the message the
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message is that you must look at the
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true nature right you must look at
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people's nature you must be careful and
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you must be wise intelligent and see the
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true nature of things thorn bushes have
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thorns that will hurt you if you grab
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them that's its nature
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can't change that it's foolish to try to
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expect something different that's what
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the bush told him it was foolish for the
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Fox to expect help all right
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so very simple again to repeat our
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vocabulary words just fo fo-fo this is a
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common phrase you'll see friend or foe
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friend or enemy so obviously at first
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the Fox thought the bush was his friend
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but actually his enemy it actually hurt
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him more to slip you know is like like
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when something's wet and it causes you
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to fall that verb is to slip clutch
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that's a good one that's probably our
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best word for today's
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story to clutch is a nice verb to clutch
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to clutch like you might clutch we will
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say you you know clutching okay like
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this is little this has some money it is
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a little thing little thing has money I
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might clutch it right it has the idea of
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grabbing it and holding it tightly to
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clutch to grab and to hold and it has
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kind of the idea if they are holding on
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and holding on tight you might clutch
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money for example ah to clutch that's a
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nice word
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alright so let's go to comments and
16:40
questions now see what our effortless
16:44
English family what do you think about
16:45
this story and its meaning and any any
16:49
questions and all of that
16:54
okay and Cardo with a with a with an
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idiom connected to this story than the
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meaning a leopard can't change its spots
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exactly that's an idiom that we have a
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leopard can't shake a leg is a kind of a
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cat right big cat and it has spots right
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little circle spots on its hair its fur
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and it can't change it right and it's
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the same idea you can't it can't change
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its nature
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Oh Gloria is with a nice point to me
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this story is kind of like when you get
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a solution for some problem and the
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solution is is a worse mistake that's
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also yeah that's good point yeah that is
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another message of this story is that
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sometimes if we don't think clearly
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right we just we react too fast
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to a problem we can make it even worse
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right our solution can be even worse
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than the original problem so it's also
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saying yeah you know think before you
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you know do something quickly because
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some many times Rick we have a problem
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or we're unhappy and we will just react
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quickly right we just react quickly
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without thinking without noticing
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we're just suddenly uh we react we think
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we're going to improve the situation but
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instead we make it worse I mean a an
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example of this would be let's say you
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are in a relationship right puzzles say
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you know you're married even husband or
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wife and your wife let's say your wife
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or your husband is in a bad mood and
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they're tired and they say something you
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know a little bit rude to you right it
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makes you angry and you immediately
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react and say something angrier back to
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them and then now they react and they
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say something angrier back to you and
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and then it gets worse worse worse worse
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worse each each reaction makes the
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situation even worse right and so what
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like Gloria is saying sometimes it's
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best just just just let the bad thing
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happen because the solution the reaction
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can sometimes be worse than the event
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like the Fox he maybe he should have
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just let himself fall right fall down
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and just it hurts a little bit but he's
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okay but by trying to grab he also hurt
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his hand he made it worse
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of course
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is not always true in life but at the
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ideas that be careful that the messages
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be careful
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Shahrukh says I told my family your
20:06
stories from your book they liked it and
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they're happy they want me to tell
20:09
another story
20:10
how nice yeah well these are Aesop's
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stories you know they're very old
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where's your bottle of water right there
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yeah so here's like bowed out with a
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nice Abraham with a nice summary do not
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expect good from evil people exactly
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right and it's surprising how many
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people do it is it's very surprising how
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many people will expect evil people to
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suddenly do something good they think
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that if if they give them a good
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argument or they can somehow convince
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the evil person you know and with logic
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and reason and emotion that somehow the
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evil person will suddenly ah realize
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that they're wrong and they will change
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it doesn't happen that's the message of
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this story is that's that that is crazy
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it's not gonna happen it's the same
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thing with Liars like the news I can't I
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can't understand anyone who believes the
21:22
news watches you know BBC or CNN or any
21:25
of that stuff
21:26
I simply cannot understand how anyone
21:31
can watch that and believe it because
21:35
they are such clear liars they are
21:37
proven liars again and again and again
21:40
how can you expect them to suddenly tell
21:42
the truth this time maybe they're
21:44
telling the truth this time of course
21:46
not they're liars Liars lie it's their
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nature it is insane it is crazy to
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expect a liar to tell you the truth to
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trust them
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hmm maybe might they tell you the truth
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sometimes
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yeah maybe sometimes maybe they tell the
22:05
truth but you also know that they always
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are always always always thinking about
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lying that they're never trying to be
22:13
good and honest that even when they tell
22:16
the truth often it's for a bad reason
22:19
and so never trust them it is insane to
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trust them older generations like my
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parents generations are like this I
22:27
don't understand it like I sometimes I
22:29
want to shake my parents like how can
22:30
you they'll tell me something they saw
22:32
on TV and I was like like wow how can
22:36
you still believe this here's 70
22:39
something years old your whole life
22:42
they've been lying to you you know they
22:44
have been lying to you and yet you still
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watch it and you still believe what they
22:50
say sometimes I are you crazy how makes
22:53
me crazy don't expect Liars to tell the
22:57
truth and be honest don't trust them
22:59
don't expect evil people to be suddenly
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good or unkind don't do it it's they're
23:05
not going to be they're going to cut you
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just like the bush you know every time
23:11
or most times at least
23:25
okay Arafat Arafat saying oh thank you
23:30
for hey guys we love it for this English
23:34
because your life topics are fantastic
23:35
well thank you
23:41
Abraham wrong is wrong when everyone is
23:44
doing it right is right even when no one
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is doing it yeah exactly it's not a it's
23:48
not a vote morality good and evil are
23:51
not dumb are not democracies you know
23:55
the people who the founders of the
23:59
fathers of America who created America
24:01
wrote about this many many times the
24:04
dangers of democracy America is not a
24:06
democracy it was never supposed to be a
24:08
democracy because they they they knew
24:12
that they call it you know the tyranny
24:15
of the mob they meant that many many
24:18
times what is most popular that you know
24:23
the largest groups can actually be very
24:25
very evil can very very very bad it's
24:28
really easy to get large numbers of
24:30
people you know angry and upset about
24:32
something and they do bad things
24:34
so exactly wrong is wrong and right is
24:36
right it has nothing to do with numbers
24:37
if one if one person can be right and a
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million people can be wrong people
24:46
writing to kludge
24:54
to grab or hold tightly to clutch yes
25:00
okay now this is a good point about like
25:02
Alexander says I wish I could easily
25:04
realize when a person is kind or when a
25:07
person is evil it's not always easy
25:10
these experiences you can get only by
25:12
being in a similar situation right
25:15
because evil people are masters of the
25:18
lie you know we call them people of the
25:20
lie people of the lie and they are
25:22
master liars and master actors so I mean
25:26
some people are very obviously bad but
25:31
many many bad people are not obviously
25:34
and immediately bad right it's not they
25:38
they smile and they pretend so how do
25:42
you learn to see it well you need this
25:44
is where you need wisdom this is where
25:46
you need life experience you won't get
25:48
it from a book you will not get it from
25:50
a book we call this in English street
25:52
smarts street smarts right it's the it's
25:57
that intelligence you get from being out
26:00
in life and sometimes getting cheated
26:03
right and sometimes and then you start
26:05
to learn I learned this when I travelled
26:09
in India was that was one of the things
26:10
I got from India I was a very very
26:12
trusting person Oh everybody's honest
26:14
you know and then I went to India and
26:16
traveling around especially in the
26:18
cities constantly constantly people
26:22
tried to cheat me constant because I was
26:26
obviously a foreigner a tourist and you
26:29
know they didn't they did it by lying
26:31
they always were very uh you know he's
26:34
hi how you doing they always pretended
26:37
to be super friendly and with a big
26:38
smile and but this was a good learning
26:40
experience because I learned something
26:42
about something also about human nature
26:44
most people don't do that you start to
26:47
learn and to be able to you will learn
26:49
how to see the lies it becomes more
26:51
obvious now some people are just super
26:54
super super liars and maybe it takes
26:56
time but most people are not super liars
27:00
with some experience you can learn to
27:03
see it you know so for example if you're
27:06
traveling
27:08
and you're in the street walking in a
27:09
city and someone a stranger someone you
27:12
don't know comes up and starts chatting
27:13
to you in a very friendly way you should
27:16
be cautious you should be suspicious
27:18
it's that's not normal behavior most
27:21
people do not suddenly start talking to
27:24
strangers and especially they're not
27:29
trying to hi how you doing they're not
27:30
overly overly overly overly friendly
27:33
none of that is normal and then if they
27:37
start if they start asking you personal
27:39
questions if they start you know wanting
27:43
to wanting you to go somewhere with them
27:46
all of these you start to learn these
27:48
are signs of possible cheating now maybe
27:51
they're honest but most of the time
27:52
they're not all of these are signs and
27:55
you learn them you know you learn it
27:56
from experience you got to get out in
27:58
the world to learn some of these things
28:02
and just see through it and you learn
28:05
it's the same thing when you're dating
28:06
right when you're a young person and
28:08
you're dating girls boys you know and at
28:10
first you're blind you're blind you're
28:13
just following your emotions blindly
28:16
you're attracted to a boy or a girl you
28:21
don't know why you just are and then
28:26
you're totally blind and maybe other
28:28
people maybe your parents try to tell
28:30
you maybe that's not such a good person
28:32
but you won't listen it maybe later
28:38
even your friends tell you oh yeah yeah
28:40
you know she's not good you know you
28:41
can't trust her you won't listen and
28:45
then you get hurt and then she cheats
28:46
you or he cheats you cheats on you and
28:51
you have a very painful time and uh it's
28:54
terrible and then you learn but then you
28:55
start to learn and then when this
28:57
happens after several times you start to
29:00
realize ah you know I have to I have to
29:03
look past just emotion these emotions
29:06
are not logical and I have to look more
29:09
carefully to see a person's nature not
29:12
become blind just because I think
29:14
they're pretty not because I'm blind
29:17
because I think the guy is just so
29:19
strong and cool
29:20
you have to learn to look for other
29:22
things and you start to see Nate
29:24
people's nature so there are signs okay
29:27
there are signs to people's nature and
29:29
with life experience you will learn to
29:32
see them but you have to get out there
29:34
and live you're not gonna learn it from
29:36
a book
29:43
Valkyr says why is it hard for bad
29:45
people to change their nature because
29:48
they don't want to they don't want to
29:50
change their nature they have chosen to
29:51
be bad they believe they're getting very
29:55
good benefits right and there are
29:57
benefits to being bad their benefits to
30:00
cheating people why cheat people well
30:01
it's easy money you know if so if you're
30:04
cheating like why those guys in India
30:06
we're always trying to cheat me for them
30:08
it was easy money you know you see some
30:10
person from another country they don't
30:13
understand India they don't understand
30:15
anything so you go and you cheat them
30:17
and you take their money and then you
30:19
make money in this easy way so you know
30:25
that's why most of them don't want to
30:28
change so they're not going to esalaam
30:38
with another kind of related connected
30:40
idiom look before you leap right now in
30:45
this case the Fox was already falling
30:48
but it's the same kind of idea to look
30:51
to be cautious
30:52
don't act without when you when you're
30:55
acting when you're looking for help when
30:57
you're doing something you know be look
30:59
try to look more deeply at things and at
31:02
people not just the surface sir that
31:12
says how can I get your audio book go to
31:18
my book website it's effortless English
31:21
calm just effortless English effortless
31:23
English calm that's my book website and
31:26
my audio book is there for free
31:28
you have to just enter your email there
31:30
and then you'll get the
31:31
audio book for free effortless English
31:33
calm she okay ziad says only one person
31:48
is responsible for your success it's you
31:50
so be careful about wrong things yes
31:57
Najma says AJ please open your YouTube
31:59
comments section no no no no it's
32:01
keeping it closed YouTube is really too
32:04
annoying to deal with the comments it's
32:07
too difficult to to moderate them
32:09
quality of the comments I mean you know
32:11
luckily with effortless English it's
32:12
still 99% very positive and nice and
32:16
decent people not but but there
32:19
occasionally there's spam and other
32:21
stuff you know what are called BOTS
32:24
which are just automated spam programs
32:26
that put lots of comments there and it's
32:29
a and it's their system is really
32:32
annoying to try to go through and
32:34
eliminate that stuff so so slow so
32:37
YouTube's just now it's not worth it I
32:39
don't want to waste huge amounts of time
32:42
dealing with their comments so I just
32:45
turn them off now it's easier just to
32:47
turn it off
32:55
ugh day says but I know AJ Hoge I hate
32:59
all my English teachers they don't know
33:02
how to explain ideas everything with
33:05
them is so complicated but with AJ I
33:07
improve a lot and very fast Thank You AJ
33:10
you're welcome yeah well that is a job
33:14
of a teacher is to make things more
33:16
understandable for the students I mean
33:18
right that seems like it at the least
33:21
that is kind of the center of a
33:23
teacher's job help the students
33:27
understand and so many teachers do the
33:31
opposite and confuse their students
33:33
which seems pointless to me seems like
33:37
it's the opposite of teaching and now it
33:47
also with a good comment about this I
33:51
think this story talks about when you're
33:53
in the middle of a problem you can't
33:55
think clearly oh yeah this is that is
33:58
true that's why you go to everyone
34:01
immediately without thinking who was
34:03
good it was bad we should be more
34:06
careful oh that is so true and I think
34:08
that is also you're right I think that
34:10
is one of the messages of this story and
34:13
it is very true especially with big
34:15
problems very emotional problems that we
34:19
can you know easily become so confused
34:22
and we can't think clearly and then we
34:25
make really bad decisions I just said
34:28
recently this happened with me with my
34:31
babies and one of my babies was sick and
34:33
in the hospital and maybe going to die
34:34
and I had to make all these decisions
34:36
and so many problems to solve to save
34:39
him and you know for a short time maybe
34:43
the one day especially I can think of
34:46
you know we're getting no sleep I was
34:47
stressed out and out and exactly I could
34:50
not think clearly so I couldn't make
34:52
good decisions I couldn't even talk
34:55
clearly couldn't communicate at all and
35:00
that's very very dangerous and I had to
35:03
stop myself you know I didn't the
35:05
message of this story I just stopped
35:07
myself
35:09
my mind see clearly think about
35:14
everything more deeply more clearly
35:17
figure out what is most important what
35:20
do I need to do first
35:21
what do I do second what do i do third
35:24
and then with a very clear and calm mind
35:29
solve the problems and move forward move
35:32
forward move forward that's what I did
35:34
thank God but you know it's very true
35:38
that especially when something really
35:41
bad first happens we can just kind of
35:43
haha
35:44
right all the emotions go too crazy and
35:46
our mind can't think clearly then and
35:50
then when you start making really stupid
35:53
decisions because we're reacting from
35:56
emotion and that leads us to make a bad
36:01
decision and the bad decision can make
36:03
everything worse then the emotions get
36:06
even bigger even a worse problem and
36:11
then you react again and make another
36:13
stupid decision and that makes it even
36:15
worse and it can be this cycle where it
36:17
just gets worse and worse and worse and
36:19
worse and worse because of this so you
36:20
have to stop yourself and calm all of
36:25
the emotion don't make a decision in the
36:28
middle of being emotional especially
36:32
very important life decisions do not
36:35
make those decisions when you're upset
36:38
don't do it very very important it's
36:41
okay to be upset sometimes that's normal
36:43
in life but don't make decisions when
36:45
you're upset right when you're really
36:47
sad when you're really angry when you're
36:49
really upset don't make a big life
36:53
decision calm down first because
36:59
otherwise very good chance you'll make a
37:01
stupid decision and make everything much
37:03
worse
37:13
all right um Eric we can shape human
37:17
nature that's why we are different from
37:19
animals we must believe that bad people
37:20
can turn into good people otherwise we
37:22
should behave like animals we certainly
37:25
have that choice that free will we do
37:29
but it's better to focus on yourself I
37:33
think I think that's what he's saying
37:36
that you know in general in life most
37:41
people I mean this is the truth most
37:42
people follow their nature
37:45
now that nature you can say that nature
37:48
I mean is it genetic no I mean many
37:50
times that nature is from earlier
37:52
choices like someone who's a liar
37:55
were they always a super dishonest liar
37:58
or someone who isn't really mean where
38:00
they always mean probably not probably
38:02
made when they sometime when they were
38:04
young maybe when there were small
38:06
children they were not mean they were
38:08
not super liars I mean all kids lie a
38:11
little bit but they're probably just
38:12
normal but at some time in life they
38:15
decided to lie and they got a good
38:16
benefit from it and then decided to lie
38:18
again and again and they started making
38:20
that choice in life and most people will
38:23
continue to follow that nature now you
38:26
know in the East the word is dark eyes
38:29
karma and it's the it's the consequences
38:33
of your actions right when we have an
38:37
action it produces a result that result
38:40
then produces other results right it's
38:43
this is basic like Newton Newtonian
38:46
physics and so most people just continue
38:49
to follow that so we must believe people
38:53
can turn into good people it certainly
38:55
it is possible we've seen from history
38:58
that there have been people but I think
39:01
the point is don't risk yourself if
39:04
someone else becoming a good person
39:06
that's their responsibility it's it's
39:10
yeah I think it's nice to have that
39:12
understanding that it's possible but we
39:14
must also realize it doesn't usually
39:16
happen it is possible but not usually so
39:19
it's foolish to trust an evil person
39:22
it's foolish to hope they'll
39:24
become good Oh this time they'll become
39:26
good this time they'll change no they
39:27
won't
39:28
this is what this is what people who do
39:31
who love drug addicts like for example
39:35
the parents of a drug addict now of
39:38
course it's their child they love their
39:39
child of course of course
39:41
and they keep hoping and hoping and
39:43
hoping that oh it's gonna change it's
39:44
going to change and they they give the
39:46
child money and every time the child has
39:48
a problem they solve the problem but
39:50
this only makes it worse because now
39:52
that child can more easily do drugs
39:55
again and it's a spiral there's a
39:59
there's a it's called codependent is the
40:02
word that counselors use but what's
40:05
required is for the parents to do the
40:07
opposite of what they want to do the the
40:11
thing that is the most helpful what most
40:14
you know experts will say is the parents
40:17
need to do the opposite the parents need
40:19
to let the child the drug addict child
40:24
experience all of the pain don't help
40:30
them don't help them if they lose their
40:32
job don't give them money because when
40:37
you give them money well now they're
40:40
comfortable and so it's easier for them
40:43
to continue being a drug addict so the
40:46
help actually hurts them and what what
40:49
is necessary is you must let them feel
40:51
the full pain of being a drug addict to
40:56
see and only then can they finally
40:58
hopefully wake up and realize oh my god
41:04
I'm destroying my life but it's very
41:07
hard right it's hard to do that for
41:09
someone you love you're scared that they
41:14
won't wake up
41:19
you know in general my approach now with
41:21
bad people is I just said well I don't
41:25
care about them I'm not I'm not
41:26
interested in saving them they're there
41:29
so there's so many good people in the
41:30
world why waste your time with the bad
41:33
ones you know there's plenty of good
41:36
people who need help and kindness so why
41:41
waste your time on the ones who will
41:42
cheat you
41:53
Kong how do we know who are good and who
41:55
are bad you look at their actions you
41:58
have to look at their actions right we
42:01
say in English talk is cheap talk is
42:03
cheap meaning words are easy everybody
42:06
says good things evil people in fact
42:10
really evil people are masters of lying
42:13
they're masters of sounding good
42:17
I mean politicians we all know this
42:18
politicians is their job they're all
42:20
masters at sounding good how do you know
42:24
if they're lying or not you have to look
42:27
at what they do what do they actually do
42:30
then you know and it's the same with
42:32
individual people in your life they're
42:34
all going to say they're good they're
42:36
all gonna say good things but what do
42:40
they actually do if they say they're a
42:43
good friend they're a good friend but
42:44
when you need help they disappear and
42:46
they don't help you ah now you know
42:49
they're not really a good friend right
42:53
they say oh they're they're responsible
42:55
they say they will if you give them some
42:58
money they will give back to you later
43:00
and then they never do and you can ask
43:02
them again and again and they never do
43:04
well now you know the truth
43:06
you know it from actions talk is cheap
43:09
talk is cheap
43:21
yeah thought if I was in charge of my
43:23
family I would delete every news channel
43:25
immediately yeah me too
43:29
certainly for my own family none no news
43:32
no news but um you know I wish I could
43:39
do it with older ones but anyway we
43:41
can't yeah
43:47
Tahoe says being skeptical or doubtful
43:49
is a must
43:50
sometimes it's required if you doubt the
43:52
person in front of you you can simply
43:54
give up as not to get hurt it breaks our
43:57
hearts after being cheated you know it
43:59
healthy we call this some healthy
44:02
skepticism healthy caution you know that
44:09
respect is earned Trust is earned it's
44:13
it must be earned you don't just give
44:16
your total trust to just anybody when
44:19
you first meet them that's crazy
44:20
that's crazy they're just gambling does
44:24
that mean you are unfriendly no of
44:27
course not beyond be friendly to people
44:29
when you first meet them you know be
44:31
basically kind and good but don't overly
44:36
trust them either right it doesn't mean
44:39
you have to like ah everyone's trying to
44:41
cheat me that's paranoid right it just
44:44
means that you are aware that some
44:46
people might try to cheat you it means
44:50
that you know you have to be a little
44:53
careful you have to watch you have to
44:56
listen carefully especially with new
44:59
people that you don't know at all so
45:02
like I said now I've traveled so much in
45:04
my life now that if someone just comes
45:07
up and talks to me on a street anywhere
45:09
in the world
45:10
I immediately mmm I don't really trust
45:13
them I I don't hate them I'll talk to
45:16
them and try to see what they want but
45:20
I'm immediately a little suspicious it's
45:23
not normal behavior I'm telling it's not
45:25
normal at all just to walk up to a
45:28
random person and
45:30
in the middle of a street and start
45:32
talking to them it's an unusual thing so
45:35
sometimes they come up and they just ask
45:37
you know they asked for directions do
45:40
you know where is this and then okay
45:42
yeah that's normal say okay yeah yeah
45:44
yeah fine and I'll help them I'll give
45:45
them directions and help them so they
45:47
might have it maybe it's something like
45:49
that
45:49
sometimes they're effortless English
45:51
fans they've know me from my videos or
45:55
my lessons and that's of course finally
45:57
I'll talk to them I'm happy to meet them
45:59
and sometimes they're trying to cheat me
46:01
you know sometimes they're they they
46:04
start some long story and then they try
46:06
to ask for money or then they watched
46:08
you know go to my she go to their shop
46:10
or whatever and those people I don't
46:14
trust and I just tell them go away
46:15
couette go away but the problem is some
46:19
some people will just automatically and
46:22
immediately trust everybody and kind of
46:25
very foolishly and that's that's not
46:28
good it's dangerous it's dangerous to do
46:29
that you know you trust people who earn
46:32
trust people who in your family while
46:35
you know them for many years so of
46:36
course trust them if they earn it and
46:39
friends and things like that
46:56
okay let's toss to Sega Lisa thank you
46:59
Trung Thank You Mary it's hard to
47:03
understand humans say you bite with
47:05
experience you learn actually it's a
47:07
skill it's a skill so porn Chow says I'm
47:23
so porn thank you for your amazing shows
47:26
I've been working in New Zealand for
47:28
about eight years yeah my English
47:30
speaking is not very good and many
47:31
people said I have a very strong accent
47:33
when I speak well keep listening to
47:36
effortless English and start practicing
47:37
you'll be okay you'll be okay for accent
47:42
you could try my pronunciation course if
47:44
you want to work on your accent
48:04
yeah Cardo is right about this you will
48:07
know evil by their faces believe me you
48:10
do learn I do
48:12
card o is right about that when you are
48:17
naive naive as a where it means you
48:20
trust too much naive means you do not
48:23
have street smarts it's kind of it's the
48:26
opposite you're too innocent
48:28
and so when you're naive maybe you look
48:32
at someone's face and they're smiling
48:33
and hi huh and they dressed very nice
48:35
and you just you think oh this is a nice
48:37
person
48:39
but Cardo is right about this in that
48:41
with more experience when you start to
48:44
travel more or just more life
48:46
experiences and you start with
48:48
experience you learn that there are
48:49
little small things in their faces that
48:53
you will notice that give you an idea
48:57
you know sometimes you can't eat me
48:59
sometimes it's kind of unconscious it's
49:01
kind of something very small and you
49:04
just feel it you just feel there's
49:06
something wrong about this person they
49:07
don't look quite right they don't sound
49:10
quite right there's just something I
49:12
just don't quite trust this person and
49:16
that comes with experience again so like
49:18
I said now you know like for example in
49:22
Bangkok another another example of you
49:25
know there are people who will walk
49:26
around and they try to cheat you and
49:28
often it'll be like just some woman like
49:31
middle-aged woman dressed very nicely
49:34
and will just come up and start talking
49:36
with you a very smiling and everything
49:40
but you know there's something quite
49:43
just a little bit not right about it you
49:47
can just the facial there's just
49:48
something with experience you kind of
49:52
feel it and you know this these people
49:55
are they're cheating you they're trying
49:56
to sell you they're trying to cheat you
49:58
and sell you fake jewelry but you do
50:02
learn you're right it takes time but
50:03
there are little small things something
50:05
in the eyes when people lie you can
50:07
start to see a little bit in the eyes
50:09
they're five there's there's certain
50:11
smiles that are a little fake you know
50:13
you can see this I see what politicians
50:15
a lot they're fake smiles and they're
50:17
kind of like
50:18
you know and it's just it there there is
50:21
just miss its maybe it's in the eyes
50:23
it's something in the voice where you
50:25
can just feel there's something a little
50:26
wrong that they're acting not always but
50:31
many times but you needed some life
50:35
experience for that
50:45
sure all kind of without what I was
50:47
saying the best way to avoid bad people
50:50
is don't trust everyone quickly and you
50:53
expect everyone to change or hurt you
50:55
right
50:56
it doesn't mean you distrust theirs
50:59
there's a middle right if again like you
51:01
can imagine it in self-defense
51:03
in self-defense classes they have some a
51:05
system where it's like colors right like
51:09
so means it's like white yellow orange
51:13
red but you could also think like
51:17
numbers so from 0 to 10 so zero means
51:21
you're totally trusting you just trust
51:23
everybody so you meet someone on the
51:25
street and you're like oh you trust
51:26
everything they say automatically
51:28
immediately that's foolish
51:32
on the other hand 10 would be where
51:34
you're just like go away go away and
51:36
you're paranoid you think everyone is
51:38
trying to cheat you all the time
51:41
that's a 10 that's also too much right
51:44
so you can see what you probably want
51:46
something around the middle around a 5
51:48
when you're especially in cities you
51:50
know where you're around a lot of people
51:53
you don't know where you're not totally
51:55
trusting but you're not crazy and
51:57
paranoid right
51:58
you're basically relaxed you're not
52:00
scared all the time you don't walk
52:02
around scared but you're just you're
52:04
aware okay you're aware you notice and
52:10
if a strange person starts talking to
52:14
you you'll talk to them it's no problem
52:16
you're not like go away right you'll
52:18
talk to them but you're you're also just
52:21
you're watching them you're looking at
52:23
their hands you're looking at their eyes
52:25
you're listening what they're saying
52:27
carefully and you're you know part of
52:30
you is thinking you know ok what's what
52:32
does this person want what did they want
52:34
why are they suddenly talking to me
52:37
maybe it's just a super friendly person
52:40
who likes to talk in America that does
52:43
happen there are especially in some
52:45
parts of America like in the Midwest and
52:47
in the south women especially southern
52:52
women in America they will do this
52:56
they'll just start talking
52:57
to you and they'll talk and talk and
52:58
talk they'll tell you personal things
53:00
about their life and talk talk
53:02
they're not trying to cheat you at all
53:04
they're just very super friendly and
53:06
talkative um but then other people might
53:11
be trying to cheat you so you just have
53:12
to kind of you know you learn you learn
53:14
with life and you just have to be a
53:17
little careful not scared not crazy but
53:20
also not foolish right Xena says how
53:40
near topics always respond to my current
53:43
situation no it's because I talk about
53:46
topics that are you know like basic life
53:50
topics so I think all of us have to deal
53:54
with these kinds of topics and
53:56
situations in life at some time so that
54:00
that's why yeah Marik says even in Game
54:06
of Thrones
54:07
they mocked they laughed at democracy
54:09
yeah democracy is kind of a joke
54:20
so Behar maybe is going too far
54:22
Bihar says I cannot trust people easily
54:25
and that made me upset and having very
54:28
few people around me how can I change
54:29
that so Bihar maybe you're doing a
54:31
little too much you're a little too
54:34
suspicious right and you just need to
54:36
back a little bit it doesn't mean just
54:38
be who I trust everybody but you give
54:41
people a chance you know this is kind of
54:44
the way you do it you so someone talks
54:46
to you you don't tell them go away
54:48
immediately unless they're to look crazy
54:49
or something's wrong with them but for
54:52
normal people you give them a chance
54:54
give them a chance you talk to them and
54:57
you watch their actions and if they show
54:59
you that they're decently good then you
55:02
trust them a little more you know so
55:06
let's say you know someone in your life
55:08
who's more like maybe a new friend are
55:10
they immediately your very best friend
55:12
and you tell them everything you trust
55:14
them completely No
55:16
maybe you just do something with them
55:18
you just kind of hang out a little bit
55:20
but then little by little with time you
55:24
watch them you can see how they with how
55:27
they act in life right and then you see
55:30
their in their nature their character
55:32
and if you start to if you see good
55:36
things well then you you can and should
55:37
trust them more trust them more trust
55:39
them more if you see bad things then you
55:42
trust them less and less and less so
55:43
you're constantly adjusting for each
55:46
person in your life right so it's it's
55:49
not good just just totally be not trust
55:52
anyone of course not we have to have
55:54
trust
55:54
it's just who do you trust and when do
55:56
you trust right it's something that
55:58
takes time you start at the five let's
56:00
say where you use our 1 to 10 you start
56:03
at 5 with most people and then as you
56:07
deal with them as you are around them as
56:10
you see their actions you adjust you see
56:14
bad things then you becoming like 6 7 8
56:17
you could become more and more careful
56:18
you see good things then you go down to
56:20
4 3 more trusting more open right that's
56:24
it
56:37
dog says one day I came across some
56:39
strangers in my country I talked to them
56:42
immediately but the American one seemed
56:44
not interested maybe they didn't know me
56:46
it could be depends right like I said I
56:49
will talk to people in other countries I
56:51
don't immediately ignore them and
56:52
sometimes sometimes like you dog some
56:56
people just want they see a foreigner
56:58
they want to practice English or they
57:00
want to they're just excited they to
57:02
talk to you and gonna meet you and talk
57:04
about your country and travels that's
57:06
obvious though with a little time you
57:09
know it's it's just different I can tell
57:10
I can you know again this comes with
57:12
time what's the difference someone who's
57:15
friendly like dog they're just going to
57:17
talk to you they're not trying to get
57:19
anything see the ones who want to cheat
57:21
you they always want something they want
57:23
you to go to their store they want you
57:26
to give them money they're trying to get
57:29
something from you normal people who are
57:33
just friendly they don't want anything
57:35
from you they're just they just they'll
57:37
just talk to you they're not gonna ask
57:38
you to give them something so yeah you
57:45
know sometimes people are a little more
57:46
suspicious when they're traveling and
57:48
that happens
57:58
yeah okay this is LS Alexei with a nice
58:03
a little thing to do Oh
58:06
based on my experience there is one
58:07
amazing tool to figure out if someone's
58:11
good or not can you trust them it's this
58:14
is this man good or better or not deal
58:16
with better to not deal with him lend a
58:19
couple hundred dollars and don't remind
58:22
him about this money and just wait this
58:26
is this is great advice it will give you
58:29
a lot of information about that person
58:31
the most important thing that you'll
58:33
understand is that man able to keep his
58:36
promise or not this is fantastic advice
58:41
it really is good you know and when
58:43
you're measuring a friendship absolutely
58:49
this is a hundred percent true I can
58:52
tell you this exact situation from my
58:55
life with um let's say one two certainly
58:58
with one two three four friends I can
59:01
think of in my life in the past where I
59:05
gave them money or did something with
59:07
money with them and two of them two that
59:12
are still my closest best friends they
59:16
they paid me back and I'd never said
59:21
anything in fact they were always
59:23
telling me hey don't worry I'm
59:24
definitely gonna pay you back they were
59:26
reminding me so even if I in fact um I
59:30
go ahead and say his name one name's Joe
59:34
my friend Joe some of you know from
59:35
learn real English calm so many times I
59:40
have given him money or not not because
59:44
he needs money but maybe we're doing
59:45
something and he doesn't have enough
59:47
money at that moment right he just he
59:49
forgot or he doesn't have enough right
59:52
and he needs some oh can you give me
59:54
some money I'll pay you later um and
59:56
I'll go yeah sure okay and I'll give Joe
59:58
the money give him money like let's say
60:00
$100 with Joe sometimes I totally forget
60:04
sometimes I will forget I gave him the
60:07
money I just totally forget about it and
60:09
then one week later or two weeks
60:11
he will give me the money I say oh yeah
60:13
here's the money I you I borrowed from
60:16
you and all I'm like oh did I forgot did
60:20
did I give you money he's like yeah yeah
60:22
you gave me money
60:23
two weeks ago oh okay thanks Joe so see
60:27
even if I forget he will pay me back so
60:31
you know I can I know I can truly trust
60:33
him with that I mean completely and then
60:37
there's another friend not not a good
60:41
friend anymore
60:42
and it's the opposite or I gave him
60:45
money and tried to help him and he he
60:50
just totally ignored it he tried he
60:52
hoped I would forget about it when I
60:54
didn't forget about it then he would try
60:55
to make excuses try to hide from it even
60:58
when he had enough money to pay me back
61:00
and he was doing his he was doing well I
61:04
know he was doing well he was buying
61:05
lots of stuff he had plenty of money
61:08
still did not pay me back and now really
61:11
he's not much of a friend anymore
61:12
and so exactly what Alexi said you so
61:16
it's by the actions right it's by the
61:20
actions where you see their real
61:21
character Joe's real character he you
61:25
know even if I forget he will remind me
61:28
he could easily just be quiet I would
61:31
never even remember that I gave him
61:33
money because I forget about it
61:35
sometimes totally forget and it's
61:39
happened many times with Joe and also
61:41
his his wife Kristen is my other really
61:45
close friend both of them they will both
61:47
do that in both cases I have given them
61:51
money and as many different times and
61:53
they have totally reminded me later
61:57
after I forgot that they owe me money so
62:01
that's a good one you know and I always
62:03
try to do the same I try to pay back and
62:06
if I forget I feel terrible and someone
62:08
will if they remind me I'll pay them
62:09
immediately so that's a good one so you
62:12
got to do this yourself too right don't
62:14
try to hide and if you if you borrow
62:17
money from someone pay them back
62:18
don't try to like hide it is crazy why
62:21
would you do that to someone who's your
62:22
friend
62:37
okay Meowth says some people are very
62:41
comfortable with cheating and they look
62:43
easier to survive in their work yeah
62:45
they're good number that do ya
62:47
some call them why are some people very
62:50
comfortable some call them smart some
62:52
call them cheating which is more
62:54
suitable for them well if they're
62:55
breaking the rules if they're lying and
62:59
stealing then they're cheating and yeah
63:04
I know some you know who you know who if
63:07
if this is another good test see this is
63:09
how you why you have to be smart this
63:11
will tell you a lot about people so
63:14
imagine you're working you're in your
63:15
job and one person is all if they're
63:17
cheating they lie and they're to be more
63:21
successful in their job they they kind
63:23
of lie and they cheat in the job so
63:27
number one you know that person you
63:29
can't trust them and maybe they seem
63:31
they're making lots of money they're
63:33
doing very well that's why people do it
63:35
they get rewarded in the short term they
63:38
get rewarded it's eat like it's easy
63:39
money it's it's easy results when you
63:42
cheat when you break the rules short
63:45
term it's easy but here's the here's the
63:50
thing though you will also learn about
63:52
your other co-workers okay right this
63:55
will tell you about their character also
63:57
so you're in the office maybe there are
63:59
ten people in the office well if five
64:02
other people they admire the cheater
64:07
they say good things about the cheater
64:08
they say oh he's so smart oh he's great
64:10
oh it doesn't matter he's just it's not
64:12
cheating it's not so bad it's okay you
64:14
know look at him he's doing so well well
64:17
now you know they also are not honest
64:19
you know you probably can't trust them
64:21
either see how you it's really it's
64:25
really not so hard if you just listen
64:27
and watch you will see people's
64:31
character fairly quickly you will learn
64:34
their character so again why do people
64:38
do it well because it's quick and easy
64:40
results it's the same thing why do
64:41
people do drugs like I always laugh when
64:46
people say this like wow why does
64:48
someone become a drug addict why do they
64:50
do that like they
64:50
it's a big mystery because it feels good
64:53
it's not a mystery it feels good you
64:56
think drugs feel bad you think people do
64:58
drugs because they feel terrible they
65:00
feel fantastic they feel great it's
65:02
pleasure huge amount of pleasure
65:04
immediately that's why people do drugs
65:08
why do people cheat because it's a
65:10
immediate result it's an immediate good
65:12
result they get right away they get
65:14
easier money easier success it's easier
65:19
something that's why they do it but
65:25
what's the problem of is that there's a
65:28
few problems and the main problem is
65:30
that long term it produces very bad
65:32
results because you know look just think
65:34
socially just socially just think of it
65:36
socially meeting with other people what
65:38
happens when someone's a cheater all the
65:39
time what happens when someone does not
65:42
pay money back ok so you have a friend
65:45
and he's constantly cheating he's be
65:47
borrows money and he doesn't pay it back
65:49
you go to a restaurant he always tries
65:51
not he tries not to pay his part right
65:54
he always trying to pay less than he
65:56
should
65:57
okay the first the first few times maybe
66:01
the first year maybe the first two years
66:04
everybody ignores it everybody lets him
66:08
kind of cheat he get he pays less money
66:11
every time at the restaurant or the bar
66:14
he borrows money he never pays it back
66:17
and he thinks you know he's getting this
66:20
great benefit but what happens I'll tell
66:22
you what happens all the time
66:23
is eventually the friends get sick of it
66:26
the friends are like I'm sick of this
66:29
guy he's always cheating me he never
66:31
pays money back we go out to a
66:33
restaurant every time he's just you know
66:36
paying less he doesn't pay what he
66:38
should and I mean what happens is that
66:40
guy loses his friends eventually the
66:42
friends say enough get you're not my
66:46
friend anymore right go I'm done with
66:48
this guy I'm done I'm not giving him any
66:50
more money I don't want to go out with
66:52
him anymore because he's always you know
66:54
just he never pays what he should so he
66:57
loses his good friends he might later
66:59
find other friends but eventually all
67:01
good people avoid him he will eventually
67:04
in life
67:05
after time after many years that nobody
67:08
good wants to be around him anymore and
67:10
then he's surrounded by other cheaters
67:12
and his life is not very good so there's
67:19
a price always to this later but the
67:21
price comes later it's not worth the
67:28
price for the small benefit you get
67:32
immediately okay Tomas says never make a
67:57
decision when you are full of negative
68:00
emotions that's a good life rule really
68:02
it really is a good life rule don't make
68:05
decisions when you're full of negative
68:06
emotions in fact it's it's probably even
68:11
a good life rule not to make decisions
68:14
when you're full of any strong emotion
68:16
even positive ones sometimes we can also
68:19
make bad decisions when we're just are
68:22
so excited inside yeah we're feeling
68:25
great we're so excited and then we can
68:27
make foolish decisions because of that
68:30
excited happy feeling right we can be
68:33
too naive we don't we're not careful
68:35
enough because we're just so excited in
68:38
the moment I've done this okay this is
68:41
probably more one of my past problems
68:44
not now really but when I was young and
68:46
for many years I had this exact problem
68:48
I was I was very enthusiastic still him
68:51
but just you know just very easily get
68:54
excited about ideas and all right let's
68:56
do it yes and I would just say yes too
68:58
fast and I would be too excited and I
69:01
made many bad decisions because of that
69:04
so I'd say even really just any strong
69:07
emotion at all emotions are good
69:11
excitements great even bad you know net
69:15
what we think are bad or negative
69:16
emotions they're they're useful
69:18
sometimes we
69:19
them but um the point is though just
69:23
wait a later to make your decisions make
69:26
your important decisions when you're not
69:28
feeling like that when you're a call
69:31
that's the time for decision-making when
69:33
you're just feeling nice and calm your
69:35
mind is clear no strong emotions then
69:39
you can look at everything carefully and
69:41
clearly and you'll make the right choice
69:43
or at least you'll make better choices
69:45
you'll make better decisions it's it's a
69:50
nice rule just in general don't make
69:52
decisions in life important decisions
69:55
when your emotions are too high or too
69:58
low
70:03
Ragab says hi AJ caught you today on
70:07
Facebook thanks for putting together a
70:09
wonderful course I've been listening to
70:11
you and your podcasts all the time hope
70:13
your kids are doing good love from India
70:15
Ragab thank you very much that's very
70:18
nice thank you and welcome Andrea says
70:27
I've started teaching recently although
70:30
I have a degree I hated the traditional
70:32
way of teaching at school yeah me too I
70:34
hated English I want to thank you I you
70:37
have showed me there is a different way
70:39
of teaching not complicated rules and
70:41
stress just having fun when learning
70:43
thanks great Andrea and good luck to you
70:46
with your students you know enjoy
70:48
teaching enjoy it song says how are you
70:57
I'm doing well thank you
71:02
okay listen actually good on the other
71:04
side of it some people don't respect
71:07
good people because they think they're
71:09
weak and stupid right so you should
71:13
respect good people that's the other
71:15
thing is use this to see good people
71:17
it's not just about bad you also look
71:19
and see the true the nature of good
71:21
people this is important too because
71:23
sometimes hidden sometimes we don't
71:26
realize that the best people around us
71:28
sometimes they're the quiet they're
71:29
quiet they're not the ones who are the
71:32
loudest
71:33
and that are the most attractive
71:35
sometimes it's you know when you look at
71:38
your friends it's not the one that's the
71:39
most funny and the most cool that's
71:42
actually the best friend sometimes it's
71:44
the quieter one but it's the quiet one
71:47
who will be there when you have a hard
71:49
time in life and the funny one
71:51
disappears and the cool one disappears
71:53
ah but who's there when you really need
71:55
help in your life that quiet one that
71:58
you didn't notice so much before this is
72:02
also true for dating marriage often it's
72:06
easy when you're especially when you're
72:08
young but anytime to its that you're
72:11
looking at the physical thing right oh
72:13
there's a little so hot so beautiful or
72:16
this guy is so cool and you're not
72:19
seeing past that it might be someone
72:23
else who is less a little less
72:25
attractive and hot and beautiful a
72:28
little less cool but their character is
72:31
strong and good and look for that that's
72:39
what you want in life so that's a good
72:42
point we got to look at the other side
72:43
to that also sometimes we don't see just
72:46
as important to see that maybe more
72:49
important to see that
72:52
Vladislav good to see you again I agree
72:55
you should not make decisions when upset
72:57
I think you should not make decisions
72:58
when you're too excited either
73:00
oh great minds think alike just said
73:03
this maybe you're naive like you
73:06
mentioned recently people might take a
73:08
loan for a nice expensive car we should
73:11
think about possible consequences right
73:13
so a lot of love already wrote the
73:16
comment that I just was saying we're
73:19
both thinking the same thing that's
73:20
right you can make really foolish
73:21
decisions when you're excited to so it's
73:24
not just negative ones it's really all
73:27
those strong emotions can really mess
73:30
with you know cause problems for our
73:32
decision-making
73:39
lalla see hey Jay you didn't fast today
73:44
no no it didn't fast today can you
73:45
invite someone with you to make a dialog
73:49
like a yeah well I am going to have an
73:51
interview May 26 I'm going to interview
73:56
three Dharma probe Arctica we're gonna
74:01
talk about natural law it's going to be
74:03
a very it might be a very advanced
74:05
conversation but I will do another show
74:08
after to explain any vocabulary because
74:11
he's a very intelligent guy
74:13
which is great however I already know
74:18
because I've seen in many of his videos
74:19
he uses some difficult vocabulary
74:22
normally so probably I will need to do
74:27
another show and explain the interview
74:31
right so don't worry if I if you watched
74:34
it live when I'm talking to him if
74:36
you're confused if you don't understand
74:39
everything he's saying if his vocabulary
74:42
seems difficult just don't worry about
74:44
it because later next day or maybe the
74:47
next you know sometime next what the
74:48
next week after I will explain
74:51
everything to you so you understand it
74:53
and in general layout I do want to do
74:58
some more interviews I'm happy to I can
75:01
talk talk talk but it is nice to talk to
75:03
someone else right gives you another
75:05
person to listen to and gives me someone
75:09
to share ideas so it's also nice I'll
75:12
try to do it a little more you know jump
75:18
down to the bottom here alright let's
75:22
see oh I got to go here in a minute I
75:24
got to take care of a baby
75:29
hi nurse al no Teresa
75:38
all right
75:58
yeah okay so cliffy
76:00
hey cliffie good to see you again
76:02
cliffie says um cheating is sometimes an
76:06
easy way to get short-term benefits
76:09
yeah that's why people do it but
76:12
psychologically it brings a terrible
76:14
feeling inside form for good people most
76:17
people it does not for sociopaths they
76:20
don't care
76:21
some people are bad and they don't they
76:24
don't feel bad at all they're happy to
76:26
do bad things but um full happiness is
76:36
in our code we can live it in all
76:38
different parts of our life yes indeed I
76:41
think though you know I mentioned
76:43
sociopaths some people don't feel bad
76:45
when they do bad things some people do
76:47
like normal people feel bad they'll lose
76:49
if they cheat they lie they hurt someone
76:52
they get a benefit maybe but they also
76:55
feel something inside they feel a little
76:57
bad that's what normal people feel but
76:59
there are a percentage I don't know
77:00
number but there's a small percent of
77:02
people who are so evil they do something
77:05
bad they feel nothing or they feel good
77:08
you know we call these sociopaths or
77:10
Psychopaths okay these are the truly
77:14
criminally evil but even they will
77:18
suffer bad long-term results they're not
77:23
happy people okay they're not living a
77:26
wonderful lives that are happy even
77:28
though they seem rich and famous and
77:30
they're getting great results they're
77:33
not it's not the same as a deeper you
77:37
know they don't have like a peace inside
77:39
them that kind of thing so there still
77:44
is a price yes I realize it's Ramadan I
77:48
do realize that Muslims are fasting now
77:52
someone commented here we are fasting
77:56
fasting in the day time I believe it's
77:59
night here
78:06
yeah I mean Hussein has got a good point
78:09
about this we one way for humans to live
78:12
good is to fear God God will ask and
78:14
give punishment to bad people gonna God
78:16
is the honest judge I would say in
78:18
general you know we worry too much about
78:19
this because um people will often ask
78:22
you know why why why do I do bad people
78:25
they get these benefits they do
78:26
something bad and then it's they get a
78:28
good result they get money and it's like
78:32
well yeah it does happen right and then
78:34
like people are upset about this but you
78:40
know or you do good to do good you do
78:42
good because it's right you don't do it
78:44
to get some benefit right if you you
78:50
know do your your job and you you are
78:52
honest are you being honest so you can
78:55
make more money are you being honest
78:57
because you no honest to be honest is
78:59
the right thing it's the good thing to
79:01
do hopefully you're doing it just
79:02
because it's good and it doesn't matter
79:04
if you make more money or not you're not
79:07
doing it just to get more money to get
79:09
some benefit that's how bad people think
79:11
okay they're always looking for the
79:13
personal immediate benefit for them so
79:17
don't worry about that it doesn't matter
79:19
if they make more money or not it
79:21
doesn't matter they're still being
79:23
they're still they're still wrong okay
79:24
it doesn't matter if somebody gets power
79:27
because they're bad it doesn't matter if
79:29
they get money because they're bad does
79:32
so what so what they're still bad
79:35
they're still they're still hurting
79:37
people I know you know I know we we have
79:41
this thing in our mind we want them
79:42
punished we want them punished well you
79:45
know you can try to punish them if you
79:46
want to you can try to go against them
79:48
if you want but if not then just you
79:53
know avoid them and do the right thing
79:55
anyway do what's right take care of
79:58
yourself and your family and your people
80:00
and when you see those people just stay
80:02
away from them avoid them don't work
80:04
with them don't do things with them keep
80:07
them away from you and don't worry about
80:11
their punishment whatever punishment
80:13
they're going to get whether it's
80:14
psychological whether it's in this life
80:17
whether it's car
80:17
weather's judgment you just leave that
80:20
to to God and karma and it's not your
80:25
job really okay unless they threaten you
80:29
unless they try to cheat you or your
80:32
people well then you have to fight them
80:35
then you must fight them but otherwise
80:37
don't you know you can't worry that's
80:39
there's some evil bad person in the
80:41
world and they're benefiting well yes
80:43
they do
80:44
clearly that's why they do it there is a
80:46
benefit for them there's also a price
80:53
they don't see the price usually on says
81:03
I'm fasting my brains not working
81:05
properly I'm not going to come at him
81:07
more today it's all right I know it
81:10
happens I'll do one more and then time
81:20
to go
81:30
alright ok let's see our autumn clouds
81:42
it's a nice name most of the time I
81:46
depend on other person for my happiness
81:50
so sometimes when that person ignores me
81:53
I feel blue I feel sad
81:55
how should I escape that bad mood later
81:58
well I think it's you know you you can
82:03
get you can get happiness of course from
82:08
other people in the sense that you love
82:09
them you enjoy them that's of course
82:12
really good but on the other hand
82:14
depending on someone for your happiness
82:17
is clearly not very healthy you have to
82:20
be able to find it in yourself
82:22
I mean think of it this way it's selfish
82:26
let's say you know imagine you love this
82:29
person well if you if you are just
82:34
getting your mindset what you're saying
82:36
is you get happiness from them what does
82:38
that mean you're taking it from them
82:39
right you're with them and now you feel
82:42
happy so they're giving it to you
82:44
they're creating happiness for you what
82:47
about you why you have to if you don't
82:50
have it in yourself it means you're not
82:52
giving it it means you don't have it
82:54
inside you to give to others it's a very
82:57
selfish thing it means you're you just
83:01
want it you're just trying to take
83:02
happiness from others so that's one
83:06
thing to think about is you have to
83:08
learn how to create happiness in
83:09
yourself some kind of joy and happiness
83:13
so then you have it in you from you from
83:17
I don't know from God from yours you
83:20
know from in deep inside you your soul
83:21
whatever it is or just from you know
83:24
living your own life and making you know
83:25
having things in life that you love from
83:28
your own mindset and then when you have
83:31
all that happiness now you can share it
83:33
with other people then you can share it
83:35
with this other person you make them
83:37
happier because you're just all you're
83:40
automatically so happy then when they're
83:42
with you they feel happier just
83:44
be around you now you're giving to that
83:47
person that's really love right that's
83:49
love now you're giving you're creating
83:50
happiness for them not expecting it from
83:53
them right it's great of course you'll
83:57
still get happiness being with them
83:59
that's wonderful but you have to change
84:01
the mindset change what your focus your
84:03
focus is on getting it and you have to
84:05
focus instead on creating it inside of
84:08
you so that it comes out of you and
84:11
you're sharing it and when you share it
84:13
then it increases with others so that's
84:15
what I would say I don't know how do you
84:17
do that
84:17
you know prayer and meditation are good
84:21
at the very spiritual level at a very
84:24
practical level you know find things in
84:27
life you love doing just you and do them
84:31
you know maybe it's some hobbies and
84:34
some activities it's like it depends you
84:39
know sorry you got to turn that off some
84:42
people are you know more quiet maybe
84:43
just reading the books it makes them
84:45
happy so you can do that and other
84:47
people are more social they need to be
84:48
out and they want to you can join groups
84:50
and clubs and activities in that that
84:52
might do it I can't tell you I don't
84:55
know you so I don't know exactly but you
84:57
got to find you got to create it you got
85:00
to try to create that hoppiest inside
85:01
yourself so then you can then share it
85:03
and increase it so then when you're with
85:05
this other person you're not just
85:07
getting it from them you're also giving
85:09
it to them and they'll they're gonna
85:12
want to be around you more when you do
85:14
that it'll be a better relationship when
85:17
you do that so everyone benefits okay so
85:25
indeed it's time for me to go I have to
85:27
go happy baby I have to watch and I hope
85:31
you had a good day so wonderful
85:33
Aesop's fable today we learned to clutch
85:35
remember let's focus on that as our foe
85:38
and clutch is there - vocabulary words
85:41
foe means enemy right foe enemy friend
85:44
or foe this is the phrase we use in
85:47
English friend or foe means friend or
85:48
enemy friend or enemy friend or foe f OE
85:51
friend or foe and the other one is
85:54
clutch - clutch is to grab and hold
85:58
and again remember it has the idea of
85:59
holding tightly you can imagine
86:01
clutching on to money
86:03
clutching money right so someone who's
86:06
very greedy someone who loves money
86:08
they're gonna clutch it they're not just
86:11
going to hold it normally in their hand
86:13
they're not just going to grab it
86:15
they're going to grab it and hold it
86:17
tightly all right they're gonna hold on
86:19
and clutch that money right clutch that
86:21
money - clutch is the verb all right
86:27
lots of love to you and I will see you
86:29
next time but as always commit to my VIP
86:33
program that's how you get the results
86:35
that I always talk about speak English
86:36
fluently confidently effortlessly think
86:40
in English train with my VIP program you
86:44
must commit don't quit commit today go
86:48
to effortless English club calm
86:52
effortless English club dot-com